Very shaky, but for the first time in many years I don’t feel depressed. We dug into my past trauma and also my sexuality.Īll this is still very new to me. I was so depressed, I ended up going into the garage to try and kill myself using an exit bag. I ended up being sent away to the USA for work for a few months which gave me time to reflect. I felt myself suddenly realize something but couldn’t deal with it. At one point he hugged me and said ‘It’ll be ok.' I could feel something well up inside me, a whole load of feelings came up, and I cried. He could see when I was taking that there was something there. We started chatting about stuff and the conversation got onto mental health. One weekend, I ended up going on a scuba diving trip with a close male friend who I’d known online for ages. Over the next few years of having kids and settling down, rather than finding normality and feeling ok, I progressively got more and more depressed. I don’t know if it was lust rather than love, but we got on well and got married. She was my first relationship and the only girl I’d ever been attracted to. 'I met my wife when I was 23 on a scuba dive trip.
